When I first found out I had the opportunity to move to Seattle, my heart skipped a beat. I’m a firm believer that my initial reaction, that feeling in my gut, is a tried-and-true indicator of whether something is a good idea or a bad idea. I did not give myself time to be scared or overthink it before I said that one magical and powerful word – yes.

“Whenever we think we know the future, even for a second, it changes. Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely, and we’re left only with the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there trembling, not moving, assuming the worst that can happen, or we step forward into the unknown and assume it will be brilliant” – Christina Yang, Grey’s Anatomy

Without ever having visited, I had a romanticized image of Seattle that included all my favorite things – coffee, bookstores, mountains, hiking, skiing, sailboats, and Derek Shepherd of course. Fortunately, the famous city so beautifully portrayed in Grey’s Anatomy lives up to all the hype – the Emerald City is a true jewel. It was only after I had the green light to share the news that the reality of the move sunk in. Saying the words out loud confirmed that I was not just moving to Seattle, I was leaving Houston behind.

The timing of it all still makes me laugh – the perfect storm.  When I found out about the impending move, I had already committed to 200-hour yoga teacher training, which had started just a couple weeks before. When I applied to the training, I knew the timing would never be perfect, but it had been on my mind for months and given the fact that my favorite teachers would be leading the training, I knew it was a sign. Yogaleena had made Houston feel like home, and yoga made me feel like a more complete version of myself.

It honestly felt so right, I had no choice but to commit to do it. What started as a quiet month and a yoga retreat on my 24^th birthday turned into the most hectic few months in my entire life to date: 30 flights, 12 states, 3 countries, over 200 hours of yoga teacher training, and a cross-country move. Back in May, as I waited to board a flight headed west for Reno, I leafed through a Yoga Journal magazine I had been carrying around but had not yet had the chance to read. Plane travel had become my sole opportunity to catch up on any leisurely reading, and I wasn’t about to miss the opportunity. That flight was the 23^rd flight segment I had been on since January. Even as I write this, I’ve completed my 44^th flight segment of the year.

May 2018, Page 24, of Yoga Journal featured the article “Navigating change with grace” by Sally Kempton, which focuses on seven core yogic teachings that can be leveraged for support through times of uncertainty and radical life shifts. I sent a picture to our family group chat, and the response was “It’s a sign! Embrace the change Marissa. Yes! It’s not easy. Focus on the positive. So many opportunities await!”

Kempton writes that a true test of a yoga practice is how it serves you during times of change. “Yogic teachings won’t necessarily keep you from feeling scared, overwhelmed, or confused” Kempton writes, “but they can rise up within you like a wise friend to guide you through those feelings so that you don’t get lost in them.”

Of the seven teachings referenced in the article, five of them really resonated with me.

1. Annica – known as the Buddhist Doctrine of Impermanence, this teaching is a reminder that change is inevitable, continuous, and unavoidable. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by change, I remind myself that it’s actually the only constant in life. Change is really the one thing that is guaranteed, the one thing that we can count on as inevitable. Embracing it? Therein lies the challenge.
2. Atma Vichara – the yogic teaching of self-inquiry, a process for investigating the true self. I notice that when I fill my time and don’t leave any space for reflection, it’s easy to get caught up and lose sight of what makes me feel whole, nourished, and grounded. While my interpretation may be unique, I use this teaching to remind myself that who I am is fluid, and every day I choose how I show up for those that I love.
3. Sankalpa – this yogic teaching is forming a clearly articulated, affirmative statement about what you intend to do. Making a true Sankalpa means aligning personal will with true core desires. For me, it’s taking a hard look at what I want in life and making sure whatever change I’m experiencing in some way aligns with that. A Sankalpa is an affirmation in the present, a declaration that brings a specific goal into the present tense. For me, my Sankalpa is “I am exploring all the beauties of Pacific Northwest – new job, new city, new landscape and more importantly, new relationships and new experiences.”
4. Abhyasa – this yogic principle is that of steady effort in a desired direction. When navigating a life change, it means thinking about each step that comes with the change. Breaking down something complex into simple, actionable pieces makes dealing with change less of a burden.
5. Vairagya – one of the beauties of change is the opportunity to practice this yogic principle of letting go. This past life shift has given me the chance to grieve losses, feel the anxiety, and choose to let this go and offer it to the universe. Continuing to do this over and over again is the only shot I have at experiencing the freedom that comes with true Vairagya.

My mom once shared with me sage wisdom about people who live the longest on Earth – their secret is learning to embrace change.  I smile when I think about the art exhibition San and I saw all over Alghero on our trip to Italy this summer which featured centennials living throughout the island of Sardinia.  Maybe these Sardinians live longer than other parts of the world because they embrace change. Maybe it’s because they lead a simpler life. Or maybe it’s the magical combination of wine, cheese, and bread!

After the initial excitement started to wear off, it was replaced with anxiety. Everything was happening all at once and it felt out of control. Oddly enough it was yoga teacher training that was a constant throughout all of it, and gave me the solid footing I needed to navigate the sea of change that threatened to engulf me. Lean in to the change, I told myself. Feel everything and then let it go. Be an observer and let life live through you, I repeated over and over in my head.

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” -Rumi

I don’t remember the exact day that Houston started to feel like home. I only noticed that something had drastically changed in me, after I found out that I would be moving in a short few months. Suddenly, it was like I was looking at everything with an intense awareness, and eternally grateful for the little parts of my life that had become routine – driving down Shepherd in the afternoon with the sun on my face and wind blowing through the windows, strolling around the Eastside farmer’s market on the weekend, lunch on campus with the boys, running through Memorial Park.

I hadn’t even moved yet and I was nostalgic – for cooking dates and RacePace with fun cousin Jenn, weekend sleepovers when Brooke was in town from Beaumont, walking to Black Walnut Cafe with Mary Kate and grabbing our usual counter spot, Black Swan Yoga and Bella Green dates with Valentina when we both managed to be in Houston at the same time, doing fun fitness-y things and having home cooked chicken parm with Col, winning trivia night at Porch Swing with the crew while scarfing down the best buff chick wrap in the city, an impromptu dinner or movies or the Moth with Christina, for evenings spent reading about yoga or crystals at Agora, flow classes at Yogaleena, perusing the Whole Foods on Waugh, even waking up at 5:15am for bootcamp before work at ABBA fitness.

Houston helped me discover more about myself than I ever realized it would – I went from being incapable of cooking anything but eggs to a proud owner of over fifteen cookbooks, from a once-a-month yogi to a 200-hour registered yoga teacher, from a chemical engineering student to a digital marketer, from someone who never owned a car to a Subaru groupie and proud owner of Jüby girl!

My big yogi sis, Christina, gave me the best parting gift of all – crystals with a wish for me – to go with curiosity and love on this adventure. I carry these crystals around with me when I travel– whether it’s peace of mind or cosmic protection, I like knowing that they are with me.

1. Black tourmaline – psychic protection, grounding, repels electromagnetic field, clears negativity, promotes positive attitude
2. Bumble bee Jasper – inspiration, creative manifestation, overcoming obstacles, stimulates adventure, courage, endurance
3. Calcite (clear) – new beginnings, clarity, soul healing, powerful detoxifier, cleanses & aligns chakras

As rainy afternoons become more and more frequent, I’m realizing that summer is quickly coming to an end here in the Pacific Northwest. This summer has truly been a season of change. I packed up my belongings and life in Houston in June only to unpack over 2000 miles away in the heart of a new city, Seattle. The distance is greater than the full length of the Appalachian Trail and almost 3000 miles from my childhood home in New Jersey. While I have a new understanding for the challenges brought on by being multiple time zones away from family and friends, I have also begun to realize that no matter the distance – feeling at home in an unfamiliar place is a choice I make every single day.

My Nonna was 19 when she left Italy for America, to be with the man she loved in a foreign country. She left her parents, her sisters, and her friends, and traveled 4000 miles across an ocean not knowing if and when she would ever return to her village in Italy. “Listen, even if you get a little lonely up there at first, don’t give up” she told me. I knew the move would be challenging, but I was comforted to know that I have strong stock on both the Piazza and Cancalosi side – resiliency is in my veins.

Sometimes I wonder if embracing what feels like a borderline nomadic way of life, 21^st century style, makes me a little insane. I remember feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of moving to Houston as college graduation approached, and now it feels like I blinked and my time in that city came to an abrupt end. As I did with the first move, I remind myself each day to be grateful and to embrace all the changes with wide open arms as best I can. It’s the only way I know that this new and unfamiliar place will become another place that feels like home for me.

Feeling at home is face-timing with my sister from my kitchen table, chatting as if we’re side by side in the car, it’s calling my mom as I walk back from barre class in Capitol Hill, it’s calling and telling my grandma I finally made a recipe from the cookbook she got me for my birthday or telling my Nonna that I finally roasted a chicken using a Marcella Hazan recipe. Feeling at home is hiking through rain and fog with my dad then refueling with espresso, it’s chatting with friends on the phone after the work day, it’s taking a new yoga class, and spending a rainy afternoon perusing a local bookstore. Feeling at home is reminding myself that all the pieces that make up “home” will never be in one place for me, and that’s okay. Finding a feeling of “home” is a choice, one that I make every single day.

“Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.” – Meredith Grey